Hushed Voices, Secrets Untold

Giving women a voice, one day at a time

Archive for the month “April, 2011”

Old Threats

I have been speaking lately to several women who have been set back in their journey to recover from domestic violence by the reappearance of the ex-husband and the violence that came from that reappearance. I have watched the landslide that came with that reappearance and it is just horrible how much progress disappears when that threat makes itself known again. I have watched them struggle with the self-confidence they worked so hard to gain and felt for them when they tried to describe how far they thought they had come until he walked back into their lives.

It is amazing how hard domestic violence victims have to fight to regain their sense of self and their independence after being left completely vulnerable and exposed by the offender, whether it be a spouse or a boyfriend. And it is even more amazing how fast it all comes tumbling down when that threat reappears and becomes real again.

One of these women had been to a couple of police departments recently, begging for help and protection from her ex. He was stalking her, calling her, following her, and appearing at her work. She even had to change her phone number. What was she told? There was nothing they could do. He knows how the system works, he would provoke her just to the point as not to get arrested, therefore according to the law he had done nothing wrong. Meanwhile he making this woman feel threatened, scared and miserable, and laughing about it.

As a woman who has survived horrible violence at the hands of an abuser this angered me! How dare a police department whose job it is to serve and protect say there is nothing we can do. Domestic violence laws have to change and change now. There is never an instance where a woman should not feel save in her own home and her own place of employment, and she should never be told her own police department can do nothing to protect her.

I challenge each and every one of you to make a difference and help STOP domestic violence once and for all. This cannot continue. Women must feel safe, they must know that the police can and will make a difference and that they can stop this behavior all together and let it be known it is not acceptable and will not be tolerated!


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